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| January 7, 1997 |
Circulation 1 |
Vol. 1, No. 1 |
MUSE #1: Sometimes ya’
jes gotta stop what you’re doin’ ... take a
look around ... do somethin’ a little different ...
to all the former e-sheet readers ... this is it ... by
subscription only ... but it’s free! ... quit yer
bellyachin’ ... give me some input ... I won’t
be pokin’ fun at the people I work with anymore ...
yeah ... sure ... ‘n the sun ain’t gonna rise
tomorrow either ... ya won’t find out any secrets
here ... jes’ unfounded rumors ‘n gossip ...
I really wanna hear some feedback ... remember ... you
attract more flies with honey than vinegar ... but then
who wants a whole flock o’ flies anyway!
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AGGRESSIVE: Drivin’ that
is ... did ya know that NBC’s having a show ‘bout
us tonight? ... gonna take one really nasty incident ...
the GW Parkway crash ... make a whole series outta it
... they were sayin’ that Maryland is the worst for
aggressive drivers ... that’s folks who tailgate
... drive really fast ... make gestures at other people
... I started lookin’ over my shoulder for the camera
... not that I do any of that stuff mind ya’ ...
but will the police take care of their own? ... what about
all the non-state police that are drivin’ their vehicles
70+ miles an hour ... in the fast lane ... tailgatin’
... scarin’ the hell out of people ... who’s
gonna get them? ... maybe it’s time for Pig Man to
step in ... protect the rights of the citizen! ... course
it’s kinda hard changin’ into those tights while
drivin’ down the road ... almost as bad as the guys
who’re shavin’ ... gals puttin’ on mascara
... hope there’s no shots o’ me in my Cavalier.
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READY?: For the bit o’
snow in the forecast? ... better get the weather numbers
down ... find out if the office is closed on Friday ...
guess what ... do your homework ... laundry ... unless
we have more than last year ... when the office was open
... ya’ll be expected to be on time ... doesn’t
it feel good to be ‘essential’?
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TIDBITS: Mother Teresa’s
Bun is on the Internet? ... she’s so skinny she only
has one? ... I know ... lightnin’s gonna strike me
... but isn’t this takin’ things a little too
far? ... curiosity got the better of me ... I checked
it out ... it’s purty freaky ... take a look for
yourself at www.qecmedia.com/nunbun/ ... you can buy souvenirs
... check out the morph of the bun into Mother Teresa’s
picture ... almost as good as the dancin’ baby ...
I got a Cinnabunn at the mall last Saturday ... looked
just like Rodney Dangerfield ... or his younger webmaster
twin ... but I ate it ... ya’ know he jes don’t
get no respect! ... speakin’ o’ eatin’
... what about the Aussie electrician ... couldn’t
smoke on a construction site ... ate electric cable instead
... got lead poisonin’ ... maybe they shoulda jes’
plugged it in while the guy was chompin’ ... hold
on to your hats ... researchers have learned some secrets
about penguins ... they steal each other’s eggs ...
almost peck each other to death over territory ... tryin’
to link it to testosterone ... are they sure they weren’t
studyin’ a convention of rednecks in tuxedos? ...
what about the Israeli mystic who claimed aliens were
landing in Israel Sunday night ... everybody was lookin’
up ... the television station had crews everywhere ...
meanwhile ... with everyone distracted ... gangs hired
by the mystic robbed the houses of the people who were
on their roof ... not the Pirates! ... Mr. Disney, say
it isn’t so ... no more buxom maidens to chase? ...
gonna add a plate of food to the gals’ hands? ...
boy that sure makes it better ... how much are they payin’
the genius that thought that one up?
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“If it wasn’t for change,
things would just stay the same.” -- Mikey, Thinkin’
Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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