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| January 8, 1997 |
Circulation 30 |
Vol. 1, No. 2 |
THE KING: Woulda been 62 ...
if it hadn’t been for that last helpin’ o’
biscuits ‘n gravy ... his cousin’s got a book
out ... claims Uncle Vernon thought Elvis was murdered
... but Vern didn’t tell her any of the facts ...
took the secret to his grave ... Elvis got his big break
when he was 11 ... he wanted a bicycle ... parents got
him a $12 guitar ... see kids?!?!? ... you wanted a car
... we got you a pair of mittens ... you might become
a famous puppeteer ... in honor of the King ... Super
Size!
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SPEAKIN’ O’ CARS:
We started a rush on Cavaliers ... seems like everybody’s
gettin’ one ... not to be outdone ... we had the
urge to trade in the Suburban ... get somethin’ newer
... went car shoppin’ Sunday afternoon ... when it’s
safe ... the dealers weren’t open ... amazin’
how much the big cars are ... ‘course I never been
to the yuppie car places ... only look at cowboy Cadillacs
... the trucks ... you could fit a Beemer Z3 in the back
... I was tryin’ to find out how much my cars might
be worth ... told myself that it should be pretty easy
to find out ... hopped on the Internet ... well ... I
knew about Black Book ... NADA Price Guides ... couldn’t
find anything under those headings ... did find that www.blackbook.com
puts you at the root directory of some system ... in case
there’s someone who wants to hack at somethin’
... not much of a challenge it looks like ... finally
came across a fantastic site ... www.edmunds.com ... it
appears to be the ultimate site for finding out price
information ... they had everythin’ you ever wanted
to know about new cars ... invoice ... how to calculate
a fair price to offer the dealer ... included information
on dealer “packing” ... also had everything
I needed to figure trade-in values for my other cars ...
the Pig Mobile’s worth a fortune ... ‘til you
deduct for havin’ no engine ... maybe if I fill it
with STP ‘n sawdust nobody’ll notice the knockin’
... hmmmmm ... all I can say ... it’s a good thing
they don’t have a big inventory of Chevy Tahoes on
the lot ... we might’ve done an impulse buy ... to
be fair ... we did visit the Ford dealership ... lookin’
at the new Expedition ... got the creeps walkin’
down the line of new cars ... I felt like they could sense
my distaste of Fords ... like in the movie Christine ...
I was thinkin’ one of ‘em would start up ...
try to run me down ... talk about parent’s attitudes
warpin’ somebody ... I wonder what it was that my
parents did that makes me feel this way ... I was really
shocked when #2 son showed up with his new Probe a while
back ... thank heavens he came to his senses ... traded
it for a truck ... much better.
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TIDBITS: The aggressive drivin’
show on NBC Timeline was OK ... my youngest was watchin’
it too ... he thought he spotted me in the picture ...
weavin’ ‘n blinkin’ ... but it was a shot
of the 405 in Los Angeles ... whew ... close call ...
before I forget ... it’s s’posed to be snowy
‘n icy tomorrow ... the weatherman’s tryin’
to hedge his bets ... says it’s only gonna be a couple
o’ inches ... be sure to stop by the store ... pick
up some bread n’ milk ... what goes in must come
out ... so pick up some toilet paper too ... I have this
mental image ... people trapped in their houses ... sittin’
down for a meal ... of bread ‘n milk ... passin’
‘round the plate ... some people like dark bread
... others like bread breast ... some’ll take the
skin off ... I can hardly wait ... contrary to popular
belief ... the crust is not fattenin’ ... in fact
it’s prob’ly the most nutritious part of the
loaf ... that’s where all the foreign material gets
deposited ... when they put it in the pans that been layin’
‘round ... that’s the source of the protein
listed on the label ... enjoy!
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“Other people have opinions,
you have the facts.” -- Mikey, Thinkin’
Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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