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| January 9, 1997 |
Circulation 30 |
Vol. 1, No. 3 |
SLOW: I’ve got snow in
my brain ... thoughts are skiddin’ ‘round ...
runnin’ into each other ... the curves are treacherous
... maybe I need to put chains on ‘em ... seems like
every time I try to get a jump on the day ... come in
a little early ... have some quiet time ... there’s
always a surprise ... today was no different ... but it’s
been so long that I’d almost forgotten how to do
some of the stuff ... I think that’s a good thing
... at least I know other people know how to do stuff
now ... no more excuses!
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CONFUSED: I saw it in the Best
Buy ad in the paper ... they had 4 computer systems that
used the latest MMX technology ... (that’s a new
gimmick from Intel ... it’s like puttin’ NEW
on the package) ... supposedly this lets you enjoy all
the latest things on the Internet ... or games ... better
sound ... better animation ... just the ticket to obsolete
the computer you bought a month ago ... isn’t that
the way it always is? ... my question though isn’t
with the technology ... or the huckstering of us poor
consumers ... but the fact that my Internet news provider
... (via www.yahoo.com ... where you can customize your
own version of Yahoo ... have it come up with just the
information you want ... just go to the bottom of the
main page ... look for the words “My Yahoo!”
... click on it) ... shows a headline with Intel just
announcing it’s availability ... how is it that a
retail discount outlet can already have it in the store?
... in the newspaper? ... seems a tad fishy to me ...
but then I’ve always been the suspicious type.
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AIN’T NO SHIT: Or is it?
... a fella in Kenya has figgered out how to make paper
out of elephant poop ... now that’s jes’ great
... we can now print crap on crap ... appropriate enough
... but jes’ think of the possibilities ... elephants
are jes’ the start ... we could eliminate all the
sewage processing plants ... turn ‘em into paper
mills ... no more trees to cut down ... jes’ think
... we could make grocery bags out of it ... it’d
be brown naturally ... might actually cut down on spitwad
makin’ as well ... see what happens when you isolate
a man in the jungle? ... boredom sets in ... wonder what
else he can come up with ... along these same lines ...
at least jungle wise ... there’s a rogue band of
baboons who’re chuckin’ rocks at cars on one
of Africa’s busiest highways ... (I think they’ve
been watchin’ our news through the windows) ... seems
like the cops are responding in kind ... chasin’
the baboons ... throwin’ rocks back ... personally
... I wonder who threw the first stone!
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MEETING TIPS: First it was
“management by walking around” ... now it’s
“management by staying awake” ... particularly
afternoon meetin’s ... it’s considered bad form
to snore durin’ a meetin’ ... especially if
you’re the one doin’ the talkin’ ... some
suggestions ... try to remember why you called the meetin’
... stiflin’ a yawn is as bad as the act itself ...
go ahead ‘n do it ... everyone else’ll follow
suit ... you won’t feel so alone ... keep a sharp
object handy ... poke it under your fingernails ... preferably
under the table ... but be careful ... a misdirected poke
might elicit an ill-timed yell ... from you ... or the
person next to you ... carry a tissue ... to dab up the
drool from the corner of your mouth ... you could always
claim that you were just at the dentist ... the Novocain
hasn’t worn off yet ... takin’ notes is no help
either ... even though it does result in some interestin’
scrawls ... as a last resort ... tell yourself some jokes
... just don’t laugh out loud ... or say ‘em
out loud either!
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“There’s nothing quite
like watching snow fall. It ranks right up there with
watching paint dry and grass grow.” -- Mikey,
Thinkin’ Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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