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| January 22, 1997 |
Circulation 38 |
Vol. 1, No. 8 |
WIMP: I know ... that’s
what you’re sayin’ ‘bout me behind my back
... jes’ a wimp ... can’t take a little pain
... I admit it ... I hate pain ... when it’s happenin’
to me anyway ... maybe the new drugs’ll work ...
we’ll see how grumpy I am today ... all I can say
is thank heavens for the new locks on the doors! ... but
all of this leads up to another rule for those of you
new to my “daily” schedule ... if I ain’t
musin’ then you ain’t perusin’ ... don’t
be lookin’ for Monday or Tuesday’s edition ...
I’m jes’ like Web Week ... a publication that
was put out monthly ... sure made me think the week was
awful long.
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THE END IS NEAR: Our beloved
scientists ... yet again distracted from their grant seeking
... analyzed some more data ... they now predict the end
of the universe in about 10 trillion years ... I’d
say that calls for an adjustment in lifestyle ... for
heaven’s sake ... if it’s gonna end that soon
we better start livin’ it up! ... this astrophysicist
at the University of Michigan says the end’ll come
when all the stars stop shinin’ ... DUH ... he also
observes that no human eyes will witness the event ...
quick ... someone get a snowplow ... dig this guy out
of the observatory ... he needs a life ... on a more positive
note ... one of our interstellar probes is passin’
back pictures of one of Jupiter’s moons ... another
group of scientists (maybe) ... think that there’s
evidence that life could exist there ... like massive
ice floes stretching hundreds of miles ... ice-spewing
volcanoes ... I guess if ya think about it ... sounds
kind of like Sioux Falls, South Dakota ... this coupled
with the discovery of mysterious gassy planets outside
our solar system ... with moons that may support life
... are they sure they just don’t need to take a
little Windex to the lenses on their telescopes? ... in
related articles ... scientists were studyin’ pictures
retrieved from a satellite by the space shuttle ... excitement
filled the room as the first images were brought up on
the screen ... deep crevices ... brightly colored bands
of rock ... signs of water ... the planet definitely showed
signs that it might support some form of life ... as the
images continued to unfold the excitement reached a fever
pitch ... until an enhancement of an odd formation burst
their bubble ... a building that said “Grand Canyon
Motel - No Vacancy” ... they realized that the satellite’d
been pointin’ the wrong way!
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BALLOON DOWN: I brought you
the beginning ... now it’s the end ... Mr. Fossett
had to abandon his attempt ... far short of the ‘round
the world goal ... his reason for wantin’ to do this?
... “it’s the only way left that hasn’t
been successful in makin’ the journey” ... now
I find that hard to believe ... ya mean people’ve
done it on Rollerblades? ... why if God had meant man
to fly in balloons He’d ‘ve given us gas! ...
oh ... that’s right ... He did ... wellllll, Mr.
Fossett!! ... didn’t pack enough Pork ‘n Beans????
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BANNED: The Daily Muse is banned
in Kleberg County, Texas ... the same people who voted
to take the ‘hell’ out of ‘hello’
... new greeting is ‘heaven-o’ ... have declared
the Daily Muse obscene material ... on hearin’ the
news 3 people demanded a recount ... ‘n subscriptions
... actually one of ‘em wanted it based on rumors
that I told stories ‘bout ‘im to other people
... now I wouldn’t do that would I?
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E-MAIL BACK: Internally anyway
... still tryin’ to restore our external gateway
... I’ll catch everyone up ... I apologize in advance
for the duplicates you’ll receive later.
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“Medicine depends on two things
to make it work - taking it when you’re supposed
to and then believing that it really helps.” -- Mikey,
Thinkin’ Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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