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| January 24, 1997 |
Circulation 49 |
Vol. 1, No. 10 |
SUPER BOWL SUNDAY: Millions
... count 'em ... millions o' television sets'll be tuned
into the game on Sunday ... (anybody know what time it's
on?) ... there are probably only 3 areas in the country
that even care ... Green Bay, Wisconsin ... New Orleans
... wherever the Patriots live ... the rest of us only
wanna see the commercials! ... there's been a radio station
previewin' some of the upcomin' treats ... be sure 'n
tune in ... see if you agree with my favorites ... on
Monday.
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THE GREAT DEBATE: First ...
there were the telephone companies ... upset over the
idea that consumers ... us guys ... were usin' our phones
for Internet access ... meanin' we were on the phone longer
... heatin' up the lines with the chat room trivia ...
those marvelous inventions of role-playin' ... where Bob
becomes Bobbi ... (since everyone knows guys don't talk
to other guys ... only girls get the conversations goin')
... they ... the evil giant corporations ... went to the
guv'ment for he'p ... how ironic ... basically the companies
were told "tough" ... now a second study's hit
the streets ... an obviously independent ... totally unbiased
... coalition of Internet 'n computer companies ... shows
that us guys have paid our fair share to local phone companies
... we're not gonna bring down the phone system ... hmmmmm
... tell that to AOL ... their happy band of subscribers
... think about it ... the main attraction for the Internet
... other than the original intent ... is the low cost
... the entertainment value ... a new way to sell stuff
... make money ... if you had to pay by the minute would
you still do it as much?
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STONE TOOLS: The oldest ones
ever ... 2.5 million years old ... were discovered in
Africa ... this pushes the limit back 200,000 years ...
these were the full featured tools ... robust architecture
... handles ... really a multi-purpose ... head-bangin'
... ground-breakin' ... Tim Taylor kinda tool ... unlike
it's later cousins ... obviously trimmed down ... new
developments in handle technology ... elimination of the
handle all together ... tryin' to make it accessible to
every caveman ... brought the cost of tool ownership down
significantly ... only required two squirrel pelts ...
instead of the mammoth tusk for the full-featured model
... kinda makes ya think about what it'll be like 2.5
million years from now ... a mere drop in the bucket considerin'
we got another 10 trillion years to go ... scientists'll
be diggin' through our trash ... discoverin' little bits
o' gray rock ... obviously fashioned by human hands ...
edges all nicely rounded ... with odd metallic protrusions
... mixed in with other odd scraps of material ... the
first ... youngest ... layers'll be determined to be a
specialized tool ... only good for limited use ... but
from the scraps of receipts it'll be determined that it
was much cheaper than it's older cousins ... which were
much larger ... had strange wheel-shaped devices in them
... there'll be much speculation about how we hauled all
the pieces from distant lands ... kind of like the statues
on Easter Island ... they'll decipher our writing ...
see that each of the stones have different names ... like
"Malaysia" ... "Sri Lanka" ... keep
all this in mind when the NetPC ... Internet TV ... try
to bring technology to the masses ... it'll all end up
in the garbage ... only to be dug up excitedly at some
future date! ... I wonder if they had tool trade publications
back in the early days ... like ToolWorld ... StoneWeek
... companies like MicroStone ... Rockscape.
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"Anything worth doing should
be delegated to someone else to help elevate their self-esteem."
-- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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