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| February 4, 1997 |
Circulation 58 |
Vol. 1, No. 17 |
BACK TO SCHOOL: What is the
lure of the campus? ... it's like the grass is always
greener or somethin' ... every time the kids ... ('scuse
me ... the young adults) ... register for classes I get
this longin' for the 'good ol' days' ... it must be the
images portrayed by all the movies 'n television shows
... the romantic, carefree image of college life ... whenever
I have to go to one of the colleges I jes' get this strange
urge to go back to school ... maybe I should load a backpack
up with bricks 'n sprint back 'n forth 'cross campus for
a few hours ... in the rain ... the cold ... take a few
Calculi courses with a TA who failed 'English as a Second
Language' ... that'd probably get it out of my system
... besides ... I did that once ... a long time ago ...
in a land far away ... obviously the filmmakers weren't
usin' my campus for any of the movies ... it was a cowboy
school ... they didn't cotton much to no hippie rabble
... I remember a few brave (read that 'stupid'), long-haired
protesters showed up at one of our R.O.T.C. drills ...
a pickup truck full of fine, upstanding, red-blooded,
American John Wayne wannabes pulled up ... they jumped
out 'n chased the flag-burnin' crowd with 2x4's ... that
was the end of any overt anti-war protests on our campus
... ahhhhhhh ... that was right before we had to run the
mile as part of our final exam for R.O.T.C. ... I'd been
workin' nights ... goin' to classes all day ... sleepin'
when I could ... smokin' ... I was in the same shape as
John Belushi in Animal House ... they took us out to the
quarter-mile track ... my sweetie-pie had come to watch
... I was ready! ... I had never really run before ...
at least in an organized fashion ... we had to finish
in under 12 minutes to pass ... piece o' cake! ... the
gun fired ... off we went ... "Hey this ain't so
bad!" I thought ... I was keepin' up jes' fine ...
I was in the front line ... legs pumpin' ... wind whistlin'
in 'n out ... this was gonna be a cinch ... then my chest
began to tighten up ... my legs started to burn a little
... "we must be close to the end" ... of the
first lap! ... only 3 more to go ... my legs were beginnin'
to scream ... I couldn't breathe fast enough ... I was
startin' to fall back in the pack ... I had to stop ...
the Drill Instructor was screamin' at me ... I started
walkin' again ... stumblin' might be more like it ...
then I realized I was in the crowd again ... hooray! ...
I wasn't stickin' out like a sore thumb ... as quick as
they came they went ... through the pain 'n haze I glanced
over where my sweetie had been standin' ... I saw her
walkin' slowly back to the car ... tryin' to be casual
... hopin' nobody would notice who she was with ... I
kept goin' ... pushin' myself to the limit ... I knew
I had to pass! ... I'd never be able to do this again
... then the guy who had started out walkin' lapped me
... everyone finished in 7 minutes or so ... a few of
the slow ones clocked in at 8 minutes ... the sun was
startin' to go down ... they were all sittin' on the side
dryin' off ... talkin' 'n laughin' ... I pushed on ...
I was startin' to cough ... how I needed a cigarette!
... the last lap was the longest distance I've ever gone
... I kept watchin' the instructor ... he was offerin'
kind words of encouragement ... "My stopwatch doesn't
count days, get a move on!" ... I finally fell across
the finish line ... the instructor wrote 11:59 for my
time ... I think it was a 'pity' time ... I don't think
he wanted to have to stand out there that long again ...
I got my towel, avoidin' the eyes of my squadron, 'n headed
down the hill towards the car ... I didn't see wifey-poo
anywhere ... I finally got to the door, coughin' 'n hackin'
like my lungs were gonna come out ... there she was layin'
down in the back seat ... hidin' ... "just get in
'n drive us away" she said from under the blanket
... I couldn't argue since I couldn't breathe ... why
she was so embarrassed that we even passed up the "2
Large Pizza" special that we normally ate after R.O.T.C.!
... it took me a week to quit coughin' 'n she hasn't gotten
over the embarrassment to this day ... yep ... them were
the good ol' days!
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"If you lived your life again
and only did the parts you thought were fun the first
time, you'd be sorely disappointed in the emptiness you
would feel." -- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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