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| February 6, 1997 |
Circulation 62 |
Vol. 1, No. 19 |
PRAYER MEETIN': I had the "privilege"
to drive in the daylight today ... what with goin' ta
see the doc' 'n all ... as I was tryin' to get 'round
some of those folks who don't have a clue 'bout Rush Hour
Rules, it dawned on me that I was havin' what some might
call a religious experience ... it was kinda like those
sudden outbursts where people call out the Lord's name
... or shout "Amen" ... I caught myself doin'
that a few times ... I know some others were doin' the
same ... you actually catch yourself "prayin'"
for other drivers ... wishin' they'd get to meet their
Maker sooner rather than later ... sometimes ya feel the
urge to describe 'em to the Lord so He can spot 'em easier
... bein' the helpful sort I also offer suggestions of
where He can send 'em ... it comes to the point that I'm
hopin' for Maranatha ... so that at least all the cars
with the bumper sticker "WARNING: In case of Maranatha
this car will be driverless" won't be in front of
me on the road! ... Amen.
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FREEZER BURN: Now I know how
those real old packages of meat feel ... those ones that've
been in the freezer a long time ... have a little hole
in the plastic wrap? ... there's the whitish spot? ...
I swear ... if that's all they do when they freeze those
bodies so they can bring 'em back to life later? ... forget
it! ... save your money ... all those people'll be good
for in a hundred years or so is puttin' in stew or chili
... the doc takes one look at the thing over my eye ...
kinda looked like a booger in my eyebrow ... but it s'not
... (ba da bing ... rimshot please!) ... movin' too fast
for ya'? ... I'll take a little pause while you get over
your laughter ... there ... that's better ... settle down
will ya! ... your gettin' spit all over the screen! ...
this doc's like an ol' West gunfighter ... she reaches
down for her holster ... the one with the liquid Nitrogen
in it ... pops me a good one ... does my scalp, too ...
I hope I don't lose any hair because of this ... now I've
gotta get serious 'bout wearin' a hat ... ya'll promise
not to laugh? ... maybe I can get a stockin' cap like
Mel from Alice.
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HIGH CLASS: There are certain
neighborhoods where it's jes' obvious that I won't be
movin' my brood to ... those places where the owners have
petitioned the county to get street names for their driveways
... like Ad Hoc Lane ... or they name their houses ...
Gray Gables Manor ... Van Patten's Meadows ... but hey
... what's gonna stop me from doin' the same? ... nothin'
methinks ... a little imagination'll fix us right up ...
how 'bout Mikey's Manor? ... oh wait ... I've got an idea
... I need to find a name that reflects our Southwestern
heritage ... maybe we can come up with a Spanish-type
name ... that's it ... what's the best way to describe
the house? ... I've got it! ... "La Casa Colonial"
... that's short for "La casa Colonial con ladrillos
rojos al final de la calle. Al lado de la casa hay un
trailer de viaje." ... which loosely translated means
"the red brick colonial house with the travel trailer
next to it at the end of the cul-de-sac" ... that
works for me!
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"It's never too late to learn
good manners - remember to take your shoes off before
you walk on Heaven's floor." -- Mikey, Thinkin'
Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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