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| February 7, 1997 |
Circulation 63 |
Vol. 1, No. 20 |
POWDER: I'm mortified ... I
knew it was comin' ... I'd had my deodorant upside down
on the shelf for the last couple o' weeks ... it's jes'
one o' them things that you think about when it's happenin'
but then it leaves your mind as soon as the bottle's back
in the medicine cabinet ... I've kind of looked for it
when I've been out ... they jes' don't seem to carry that
kind of stuff at the hardware stores ... (now there's
an idea ... could market a brand of Tool Time deodorant
... a nice WD-40 scent ... or burnt wood ... or latex
paint aroma!) ... one of the problems is that I'm very
brand loyal ... there's a certain applicator with a giant
ball that let's me cover a lot of territory in a hurry
... it really keeps me dry 'n it's unscented ... I'm a
"no scent" kinda guy ... I like to keep my senses
sharp ... never know when I'll be pressed into service
as a Bloodhound ... don't wanna sit there 'n smell that
sissy, girlie odor all day ... well ... today was the
day ... ya know it's really empty when the hair under
your arms wraps around the dry ball 'n starts bein' pulled
out ... may as well've gotten tweezers 'n started rippin'
'em out! ... I checked wifey-poo's stock ... Powder Fresh
Secret ... (strong enough for a man, made for a woman)
... tchya ... like right man ... like I'm gonna be caught
smellin' like a baby's butt! ... ahhhh ... what's this?
... Sure? ... but it's got an orchid on the front ...
yep ... smells like one too ... where's my campin' bag?
... nothin'! ... maybe the kids have some? ... only more
girlie stuff ... the boys still don't care 'bout that
kind of stuff ... they enjoy smellin' like a day old hamburger
from the carnival ... what am I gonna do? ... Powder or
Orchid? ... hmmmmmm ... oh well ... if I'm gonna smell
it's gonna be the flower ... I've seen too many diapers
changed in my day to wanna be sniffin' that all day ...
I'll jes' hafta watch where I sit!
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BUG DU JOUR: I won't name any
names ... that's the last thing I wanna do is get sued
or somethin' ... like some cheap tabloid tryin' to make
a name for itself at some poor deli operator's expense!
... not me ... but I heard third or fourth hand that one
of my fellow associates found a special treat ... she
thought the sign said "Roast Beef and Noodle Soup"
... she didn't realize there was a comma fault along with
some bad handwritin' ... I checked it out myself ... it
really read "Roach, Beef and Noodle Soup!"
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NO PARKIN': Things are startin'
to get a little tense in the parkin' lot ... it's like
Tysons at Christmas ... next thing ya know we're gonna
hafta hire somebody to wander the lot on stilts pointin'
out empty spots ... I know for a fact that some folks
don't know the rule about the reserved spots either ...
some people think they're jes' for the bigwigs ... au
contraire ... it's first come, first served ... why else
would I get to the office so early! ... another trick
is to come in between 12:30 'n 1:30 ... some of those
folks are silly enough to go out for lunch! ... you might
catch a spot if you're lucky ... the building owners are
thinkin' o' addin' a gate ... issuin' passes to the tenants
... that'll be fun ... what we really need is a parkin'
garage ... get us a little closer to the power lines!
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"You can live to work or work
for a living but I didn't see 'be carefree and have a
good time' as one of the choices. Wait a minute, I think
there's been a mistake. I think you gave me the wrong
world!" -- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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