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| February 11, 1997 |
Circulation 66 |
Vol. 1, No. 22 |
NEW YORK, NEW YORK: The weary
travelers have returned ... in one piece ... not one muggin'
among 'em ... boy do I have stories to tell! ... I listened
to hours of tales of shoppin' ... eatin' lunch at the
Trump Tower ... where they use real flowers! ... of walkin'
on Broadway ... of shoppin' at F.A.O. Schwarz ... Macy's
... drinkin' coffee at Starbucks ... I finally asked 'bout
the dog show ... if you remember, that was the reason
they went to New York in the first place ... silly me
... they're already plannin' next year's outin' ... they're
gonna add another day so they can go to the dog show ...
hmmmmmm ... well I hope you were watchin' television yesterday
mornin'! ... unless you're one of the unlucky few that
has to work for a livin' ... I was fixin' peanut butter
'n jelly for the boys' school lunch ... keepin' one eye
on the crazies that stand outside the NBC Today Show window
... sure 'nuff ... about 20 minutes into the show I spotted
one of our campin' group from Southern Maryland ... one
of the six ... I figgered if anyone was gonna get on television
it'd be her ... she's known worldwide for gettin' what
she wants ... she musta spotted herself on the monitor
'cause she started screamin' 'n wavin' 'n pointin' ...
next thing you know she's got one of the others in what
appears to be a headlock ... tryin' to drag her into the
picture ... all I see is the top of a blonde head 'n a
flash of purple coat ... from the coat I assumed it was
wifey-poo's best friend ... I ran upstairs 'n found the
hidden stash o' blank video tapes ... grabbed #6 son out
of the bathroom 'n dragged him downstairs so he could
program the VCR to record 'em ... I watched the rest of
the show ... scannin' the crowd ... but never saw any
faces ... they claim that they were right next to Katie
Couric when she was playin' with the Dalmations but I
never saw 'em ... I went on about my business ... with
the tape runnin' ... 'bout 10 after 9 I realized that
the Today Show was over ... I tried to remember what other
show they were gonna crash ... oh yeah ... Regis 'n Kathie
Lee ... I scanned around the stations ... got out the
book for the VCR 'n learned how to change the channels
on it 'n got it recordin' that show ... I watched for
a bit ... there were a few outside shots but I didn't
spot the Dog Women ... the camera panned the audience
several times 'n I didn't see them there either ... I
knew that if they'd a made it in they woulda been real
conspicuous so I felt confident they weren't there ...
about 20 past 9 the VCR turned off ... the 2 hour tape
was full ... (I hadn't put it on the 6 hour mode ... that's
a lesson for some other time ... when my sons come home
from school 'n teach me) ... I said "what the heck"
... turned it all off 'n went back to the basement to
my computer ... 'bout 10 after 10 I go this phone call
from this woman who was screamin' "Did you see us?!?!?!?
Did you see us?!?!?" ... I thought to myself "Uh-oh,
I've screwed up now!" ... it was an out of breath,
hysterical woman tryin' to tell me how they had been on
the television ... I finally recognized the voice as the
one who was on the Today Show ... she handed me off to
wifey-poo who went on to tell me how "they were part
of the wedding! ... we were standing right next to Regis!
... we were touching his tuxedo! ... (poor Regis ... I'm
surprised he didn't have 'em arrested!) ... did you see
us?!?!? ... did you see us?!?!?" ... I had to admit
I missed that part ... about that time they were accosted
by a panhandler 'n she said good-bye ... I was saved the
agony of tellin' her 'bout the missed tapin' ... now I
would struggle all day with my conscience ... should I
jes' quietly put the tape away 'n pretend it never happened?
... or do I own up to missin' their 15 minutes o' fame?
... TO BE CONTINUED ...
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"There are some things in
life that you just can't control - like if you wear a
hat you're just going to have 'hat head' and that's that."
-- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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