|
| February 21, 1997 |
Circulation 75 |
Vol. 1, No. 29 |
NUDE WASTE: German authorities
are gonna ban gatherin's along the route it's s'posed
to take ... it's jes' beyond me why anybody would care!
... I mean this is the most disgustin' thing I've ever
heard of ... ranks right up there with the maggot therapy
for gangrene ... who'd wanna stand 'round while all that
nude waste was passin' by anyway ... people jes' need
to get on with life ... what? ... it's NUKE waste? ...
oh ... never mind ... now where did I put those darn glasses!
|
SPEAKIN' O' MAGGOTS: Ya gonna
hafta start readin' the labels real close the next time
ya head to a Happy Hour buffet at your favorite Alaskan
brew pub ... ya jes' thought it was a hamburger, Teriyaki
strip or a corn dog ... looks can be deceivin' ... they're
tryin' to find new ways to get rid of the surplus of salmon
... (betcha thought I was gonna say maggots didn't ya!)
... now I don't know 'bout you but I'd jes' as soon eat
my salmon grilled ... 'n somebody tell the restaurants
that it should be cheaper ... I can think of a few other
ideas of what they could do with the excess salmon ...
puree it 'n use it for paint ... if ya only use it on
outside surfaces it'd be cold enough that it wouldn't
start stinkin' for a few years!
|
NEED A PET?: Lonely? ... lookin'
for a lovin' little furry thing to keep ya company on
those cold nights in front of the telly? ... not to worry
... the Michigan Humane Society's lookin' for lovin' homes
for some full-grown rats they 'rescued' from a trash dumpster
... excuse me for a minute ... but isn't Michigan the
place where they sit 'round 'n figger out which car washes
up the best? ... maybe they oughta try this in New York
City ... they could 'rescue' all the rats ... turn all
the dogs 'n cats loose so the hole-in-the-wall restaurants
can have a fresh supply o' food ... but anyway ... I think
there must be somethin' in Michigan that they don't want
the rest of the country to find out about ... what are
they hidin' up there? ... is this reverse propaganda comin'
out? ... either that or it's jes' been way to cold up
there this year ... some people need to be let out of
their houses for some fresh air ... by the way ... are
those long hair'd rats? ... what colors are left? ...
do you have a calico male?
|
FASHION: All right ... so I
got a couple o' new shirts! ... was I lookin' that ragged?
... good grief can't a fella wear a clean shirt once in
a while? ... I mean I'm jes' like everybody else ... I
scope out the magazine covers at the check out lane ...
tryin' to stay up with the latest from Milan ... the Spring
collection from Bill Blass ... the half naked ... oops
... the 107 year old woman who gave birth to triplets
... impregnated by an alien ... they do have GQ there
also ... I mean sometimes it can get purty borin' waitin'
for the groceries to get scanned ... actually I'll admit
that I got 'em for Valentine's Day ... along with a "To
My Husband" card from wifey-poo ... 'n all I got
her was a cheap box o' candy ... now don't I feel like
a cheapskate! ... would you like a drink with dinner or
is water all you're having this evening?
|
"Sound bites are like wild
animals because they'll turn on you when you least expect
it." -- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
|
| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
|
|
|
|
|
