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| February 25, 1997 |
Circulation 77 |
Vol. 1, No. 31 |
UNTAPPED MARKET: We spent more
to build prisons in 1995 than we did to build new universities
... that simple fact could spawn a whole new breed of
lendin' ... patterned closely after the educational field
... it's not much of a stretch to figger the guys that
go to prison are bein' educated! ... the application process'd
hafta be speeded up ... the guy's only got one phone call
after all ... whoever was doin' this'd hafta be able to
conference in the felon's attorney ... the application
could be mostly standard ... need to add a few items to
the relationship field ... like 'cell-mate' ... 'mommy'
... the occupation codes could stay purty much the same
... metal-workin' ... laundry ... the debt to income ratio
would be pretty good since the rent is so cheap ... might
wanna change some language in the promissory notes ...
like the word 'term' would become 'sentence' ... 'graduation
date' becomes 'release date' ... in addition to bankruptcy
you'd prob'ly wanna consider death row occupancy as a
turn down reason ... fraud detection would be much simpler
... it'd be close to 100% ... prob'ly could cut costs
on skip-tracin' ... one of the challenges'd be to get
the inmates off the phones ... they might wanna talk longer
than other borrowers ... they might deliberately skip
payments jes' so's they'd get a phone call from a collector
... somebody to talk mean to 'em ... jes' a thought ...
any takers?
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MORE FISHIN': Not to be outdone
by the Lake Fairfax fishin' season, Finland came up with
a variation of their own ... last year they stocked a
lake with 10,000 trout ... one of 'em was 'specially marked
... this year they announced a contest that would award
$250,000 to the person who caught the fish ... they held
the contest last Saturday ... it was kinda cold ... 20,000
people were out on the frozen lake ... gathered 'round
holes in the ice ... nobody caught the prize-winner ...
(I think they marked the fish with a chain run through
the gills 'n attached it to a lead weight with the prize
ticket stamped on it!) ... 'course it was probably for
the best ... the prize was in vouchers ... which were
good at only one store ... prob'ly a bait shop! ... 'course
now if it was wifey-poo who got hold of the prize she'd
be able to stretch it to double or even triple it's face
value ... watchin' those Sunday inserts ... clippin' a
few manufacturers' offers ... watchin' for the sales ...
doublin' the coupon ... watch 'em scan it for the wrong
price ... get one free ... then pull out the voucher!
... man, we'd have bait 'n tackle runnin' out our ears!
... 'course she don't need no prize ... she's got me!
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WATCH OUT: Jes' a heads up
to all you skywatchers out there ... next week the comet
Hale-Bopp makes it's return pass ... should start bein'
visible around the first of the week ... we're bein' told
it could be a big one! ... I'm still waitin' to see one
like's in the Medieval paintin's! ... I can't remember
if the direction or time but I'll look it up 'n let ya
know.
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"There's nothing more effective
than a grilled Swiss cheese sandwich with a thick slice
of raw onion to make you aware of every breath you take."
-- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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