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| March 13, 1997 |
Get It: 87 |
Vol. 1, No. 43 |
ARE YOU IN?: How many of you
have seen the comet yet? ... put your hands up ... that's
it ... 1 ... 2 ... keep those hands up! ... 3 ... good
... I wouldn't want any of you to miss this big event!
... OK, you can put your hands down now ... (I hope nobody
was watchin' you stare at your terminal with your hand
in the air!) ... there's an early evenin' showin' of the
comet as well ... between 7:00 'n 7:45 Eastern Standard
Time ... find the sliver of moon that's still up in the
West ... then turn to the right about an eighth of a turn
... it's purty low on the horizon ... from Baltimore anyway
... contrary to some reports I got last night ... you
won't notice the comet movin' ... if what you think is
the comet is visibly movin' then that ain't it! ... 'specially
if your comet has blinkin' lights ... if not then get
your video camera ... you may have a tape for Unsolved
Mysteries!
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DIDJA EVER: Notice those fancy
wheels they got on cars now ... not jes' your plain-Jane
wheels ... but the ones that look like they scoop the
air like a fan blade ... cool your brake linin's from
those sudden stops as you zoom through the toll booth
... least that's what I thought ... as I was walkin' through
the parkin' lot yesterday ... (since I didn't come in
early I had to walk half a mile from the Boonies) ...
I saw a car 'n the wheels were on backwards ... they wouldn't
do no scoopin' ... as I walked past I looked at the other
side ... wait a minute! ... how'd they do that ... the
ones on the right scoop ... the ones on the left don't
... maybe that explains why cars are always pullin' to
the left! ... they've got the wheels on backwards! ...
don't they make left 'n right wheels? ... now if you move
the tires to the opposite sides then the wheels'll scoop
(or not) ... but now that adds a new dimension to benefits
o' rotatin' your tires ... you not only put 'em on a different
side but they roll in the opposite direction to boot!
... I guess that keeps 'em from developin' a nap like
carpet ... maybe you should try rubbin' your tire ...
see if it looks different if you rub it one direction
versus another ... jes' don't let anybody catch ya.
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OLYMPIC MATERIAL: We watched
the middle school gymnastics show last night ... #7 had
mentioned it a few times ... showed us his uniform ...
since #6 didn't talk about it I assumed he wasn't participatin'
... to my surprise he was in all the events ... well ...
almost all ... he didn't do the balance beam ... sad to
say there weren't that many 8th graders ... only two boys
... I guess it's not a "cool" thing to do ...
wifey-poo said that in a couple o' years ... after everybody's
moved on ... we'll prob'ly still wander up 'n watch the
shows ... people'll be wonderin' which kids we're there
for ... maybe we oughta start lookin' for a hobby ...
like smugglin' spiders from Brazil ... we'd have to be
smarter than the guy they stopped at the airport ... he
had 112 Bird Spiders in his suitcase ... (if my National
Geographic memory serves me right those are those BIG
spiders ... BFS ... that spin webs 'n capture birds) ...
first of all ... how did he catch 'em? ... second, how'd
he get 'em to hold still while he packed 'em? ... I mean
it's hard enough gettin' your shirts to stay in the suitcase!
... 'n finally how'd the airport guys know to look in
his suitcase? ... maybe it was crawlin' behind 'im ...
that's a new angle for American Tourister ... get rid
of the wheels ... put some big spiders on the corners
... train 'em to follow you ... what some people'll do
for money ... that's almost as bad as drivin' a hundred
miles a day!
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"Our generous nature is strangled
by our fear of being tricked." -- Mikey, Thinkin'
Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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