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| March 20, 1997 |
Get It: 90 |
Vol. 1, No. 48 |
KICKIN' 'N SCREAMIN': I'm bein'
drug into the 21st century ... it's the insidious ooze
of technology ... the creepin' baseline o' software ...
I've now got this ridiculous lookin' contraption ... a
5 pound portable sittin' under a 21" monitor on tiny,
black stand ... what a sight ... to top it off ... I'm
runnin' Windows '95 ... jes' in time for '97 to come out
... now this newfangled word processor's havin' a blast
underlinin' all my stuff with red, squiggly lines ...
what's it know anyway ... I'll be learnin' it some new
words in a jiffy ... it's gonna make my life so easy ...
maybe I'll find a microphone for it 'n we can jes' chat!
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BIG BROTHER: Now I'm not one
to be paranoid ... (look behind you ... I think he's followin'
us! ... no, he's not ... yes, I think he is ... quick
... duck into the alley 'n see if he goes by ... nope,
he's stopped to look in the store window ... oh my goodness
... what're we gonna do?) ... but how did the insurance
company find out about us buyin' a car? ... that's spooky
when the policy shows up in the mail ... with all the
right stuff 'n everythin' ... holy silicon, deductible
breath ... I think they've got those silly computers talkin'
to each other now! ... what a concept ... next thing ya
know the grocery truck's gonna be pullin' up in front
o' my house ... unloadin' cases o' food ... oh, that's
right ... it already does ... it's called wifey-poo's
buyin' 'n delivery service! ... 'course it won't stop
there ... I've got an agent on the Internet under the
Firefly site ... it keeps presentin' lists o' things to
me ... like sites to visit ... music ... authors ... I'm
s'posed to rate how I like the things ... it's learnin'
from those selections ... then it'll make recommendations
for similar things when I ask it ... it's one o' those
gizmos that we heard about in San Jose ... 'course then
there's the hootis that I attached to my windshield ...
it's a device that has some magic number in it ... the
toll booth reads it 'n I don't have to roll down my window
to be tossin' quarters in the basket ... I fought it for
a bit ... I liked gettin' the toll money ... then usin'
the backroads to bypass it ... keep the extra change for
a treat at the deli ... plus I have these visions of them
(the sinister 'they') knowin' my travel patterns ... dippin'
into my credit card account ... timin' me between booths
... figgerin' out how fast I'm goin' ... not that I would
ever exceed the posted speed limit! ... maybe it's got
a hidden microphone in it 'n they listen to the conversations
in the car ... ya know I'm usin' the HOV lanes ... I'm
wonderin' if the Coppers'll believe us when we tell 'em
there's more than one of us in the car ... oh, you unbelievers!
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SIDE BAR: The other night ...
when we wuz out celebratin' ... on one o' my trips to
the ... um ... the ... um ... never mind ... I was walkin'
through the smokin' section o' the pub ... (like there
could be a no smokin' area) ... 'n I noticed this gal
sittin' at the bar ... beer mug in one hand ... a smoke
in the other ... 'n one o' those plastic tubes strapped
'round her head 'n stickin' up her nose ... ya know ...
like they always show the patients on ER? ... I jes' thought
that was 'bout the stupidest thing I'd ever seen ... but
then again ... the tank mighta been filled with cigarette
smoke 'n it was tidin' 'er over between real ones!
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"A nimble mind makes no difference
when you're hammering nails." -- Mikey, Thinkin'
Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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