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| March 26, 1997 |
Get It: 90 |
Vol. 1, No. 52 |
LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!: We're
havin' some film crews in our place today ... we're bein'
used as part of a Hollywood set ... Clint Eastwood's directin'
an action packed thriller starrin' Whoopi Goldberg ...
it's called "Listening Jack Flash" ... the openin'
scene shows 'im pluggin' a head set in to a phone ...
doin' some monitorin' of customers callin' in ... he gets
concerned when he recognizes the voice of the caller as
one of his long lost enemies ... a member of the notorious
Kuboto ring ... copies down the information 'n heads out
to the Black Hills of South Dakota to bring 'im to justice
... Whoopi stars as the team supervisor in the phone center
... there are a few action scenes we'll have to watch
out for ... they'll be filmin' a sequence of a company
briefin' ... where employees are hit with a colorless
gas that makes 'em fall asleep 'n fall out of their chairs
... we've been told there'll be some chase scenes in the
parkin' lot ... where some stunt drivers'll race up 'n
down the rows ... doin' a few donuts ... almost hittin'
people tryin' to make their way to the Butt Hut to puff
a few cigs ... excuse me ... the makeup people are here
... "say Miss, could you powder this zit on my chin?"
... "whadda ya mean ya hafta powder my head to cut
the shine?!?!?" ... "I can't wear my pocket
protector?" ... "hurry up, my shirt collar's
too tight!!" ... (musta shrunk in the wash again)
... this should be 'n interestin' picture ... guess I'll
have to get a copy when it hits the video stores ... I'll
bet it's there soon ... keep an eye out for it!
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STILL WORKIN': I'm gettin'
used to Windows '95 ... so far I haven't had a system
crash ... I don't hafta turn it off 'n on 4 or 5 times
a day ... that's a nice feature ... I don't know if I
like bein' able to log in from anywhere 'n have it be
jes' like I'm at the office ... that takes away all my
excuses ... the next step'll be to put a satellite dish
on my car ... my camper ... then I won't have to even
look for phone jacks anywhere! ... that's a horrible thought
... but then maybe we can get these "agents"
to be more intelligent ... have 'em remember how we answer
e-mails ... (the replacement of voice mail ... which replaced
pink telephone pads ... which did away with interoffice
memos ... which did away with walkin' 10 steps to the
recipient's office ... the march of technology) ... but
don't throw away your No. 2 pencils 'n paper jes' yet
... I've got a hoard of 'em in my basement ... for the
day the electricity stops ... I'll be set ... I'll corner
the market on writin' instruments ... people'll be comin'
from miles around to buy pencils from me ... I'll be able
to trade 'em for food ... gasoline ... charge $10 ...
$20 ... the sky'll be the limit ... I s'pose I'll have
to come up with a User's Guide to the pencil ... illustrate
how to hold it ... how to expose more lead when the old
one runs out ... maybe come up with a self-test routine
... an alignment routine for when they sharpen it ...
have 'em write out a page ... make little marks on it
... keep tryin' 'til they're satisfied ... maybe I could
come up with a lead refill kit ... powder up some graphite
... have 'em hollow out the center of a stick ... pour
the powder in ... then not honor the warranty when it
all falls out in a heap when they try to write their first
memo ... wonder how long it'll be 'til this market's ready?
... maybe I should start stackin' up some brochures to
send out!
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"If it wasn't for food, I'd
have to find something else to obsess about - like computers."
-- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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