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| April 3, 1997 |
Get It: 102 |
Vol. 1, No. 58 |
FORWARD CONFOUND IT!: At least I know
one or two people are readin' the Muse ... I meant to
do that ... see how many would catch it ... how many would
end up goin' to places two hours late ... (prob'ly the
same ones smokin' in the office on Tuesday!) ... so let
me restate the instructions ... Saturday night move your
clocks FORWARD one hour ... you lose an hour ... then
we have to live with a month or two of everyone goin'
'round sayin' "but it's only 4 o'clock in regular
time" ... doncha jes' wanna smack 'em up side the
head?!?!? ... 'course that means I'll be havin' to get
up at 4 o'clock in regular time ... yechhhhh!
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IT'S FATE: I was tryin' to make the
exit ... but the Exxon tank truck was movin' a little
too fast ... I was eyein' the overpass ... measurin' the
distance 'tween me 'n the Bronco next to me ... I could
get past 'im with plenty o' room ... at least a foot ...
I could prob'ly slip in front o' the tanker 'n make the
exit ... only problem'd be I'd be at full speed as I hit
the curve ... could I do it? ... guess I jes' wasn't feelin'
lucky ... passed the opportunity to get everyone's hearts
pumpin' ... went down one exit to get off ... ever since
last week I been thinkin' isn't it 'bout time for a Trekkie
convention somewhere? ... sure 'nuff ... get your communicators
out ... your funny lookin' clothes ... head on down to
the Westpark Hotel in Tyson's ... they've got a sign out
by the road ... "Star Trek Convention this weekend"
... can you imagine if we started an ER cult? ... we could
have conventions, too ... everyone'd show up in scrubs
... stethoscopes draped 'round our necks ... talkin' all
that frantic talk ... "get me a chest tray, STAT!"
... "start an IV, Ringers D5W" ... "hand
me the paddles ... set it for 200 ... CLEAR!" ...
push each other around on gurneys ... there could be a
market here ... set up booths to sell equipment ... oh
... they already do this? ... it's called "Medical
Convention?" ... it's the annual meeting of the American
Medical Association? ... never mind.
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SPEAKIN' O' MEETINGS: Wifey-poo's
off to a continuing ed thing on Saturday ... that means
I'm home unsupervised ... a latchkey dad ... wonder if
I'll have a list of jobs ... duh! ... some people get
Dilbert calendars ... others get Jack Handy calendars
... I got the "Chore-a-Day" calendar for Christmas
... one thing I won't have to do ... 'n excuse me for
this product plug ... when I find something that works
so neat I have to tell you ... I said we stained our deck
on Sunday ... it rained ... it snowed ... all before the
product had the time it said it needed to dry ... I checked
it out this mornin' ... perfect ... not one spot that
needs to be redone ... I swear by Olympic Deck Stain ...
it must be practically indestructible ... believe me with
my luck the stuff should have streaked terrible leavin'
me with a real mess ... but it didn't ... my hat's off
to them ... maybe Saturday I'll get to check it out with
some light on it ... while I'm paintin' the grill ...
scrubbin' the furniture ... maybe I'll even mow the grass
again ... psssst! ... don't tell anybody ... but I think
we haven't called the mulch man yet! ... maybe I can make
it through another weekend!
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DIVERSITY: A wonderful thing ... the
varied cultures creating an intriguing texture in our
bland existence ... we're celebratin' it at my work ...
we've declared a Diversity Day ... where everyone'll bring
food characteristic of their native country or region
... my department's been assigned desserts ... (my favorite)
... now let me think ... what do my people in Columbia
eat for dessert? ... (that's Maryland) ... how 'bout some
nice low-fat vanilla ice cream? ... mmmmmmmmm ... I can
hardly wait to see what the people of Herndon eat!
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"Humor is a funny thing."
-- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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