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| April 10, 1997 |
Get It: 103 |
Vol. 1, No. 62 |
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS: 'N
jes' what do you do when you eat breakfast? .. . assumin'
you take the time to actually sit down ... you're not
jes' stuffin' s umpin' in your mouth with one hand while
you're tryin' to fix lunch with the oth er ... that you
actually take the time to pour somethin' in a glass 'stead
o' dr inkin' it straight from the container ... since
nobody's watchin' anyway ... (no t that I'd ever do that
mind you ... it's jes' not sanitary ... 'specially if
someone catches you) ... if you're a cereal eater you
prob'ly sit there 'n read the box ... over 'n over again
... the contents ... the nutritional labelin' ... the
free offer for action figures if ya send $2 postage 'n
handlin' (which is twice the cost of the figures) ...
or work the puzzles ... the mazes ... the word scrambles
... a mesmerizin' experience amidst the sounds of crunchin'
... like horses eatin' oats ... we're missin' a big opportunity
here ... there's lots o' space on those boxes! ... maybe
they could start printin' some required readin' for school
on the backs ... but in terms that sounded like a cereal
ad or sumpin' ... like Cliff Notes but they could call
'em Post Prose ... great titles like "Catcher in
the Wheaties" ... "The Great Granola" ...
"A Tale of Two Cereals" ... or the cereal manufacturers
could sell space to periodicals ... such as the classic
Mad magazine ... then ya could keep up with the antics
of Spy vs. Spy ... 'course that'd have to be on the adult
cereals only ... since they've decided to venture out
a little ... I was readin' somethin' the other day ...
that Mad had a new editor ... someone who told 'em to
make the magazine somethin' kids would wanna hide from
their parents ... I don't think that's very nice ... now
I'll have to start lookin' for it ... I can remember readin'
it in High School ... (yeah, they'd invented printin'
presses back then) ... of course I never bought a copy
... it was always a friend's ... we definitely had to
hide it ... after our principal got hold of a copy ...
the nuns used to confiscate 'em ... with harsh warnin's
'bout cancer of the eyeballs ... eternal flames ... I
could jes' picture 'em at night ... after cleanin' up
the dishes in the convent ... passin' 'round the magazines
they'd grabbed durin' the day ... gettin' a good laugh
... anyway ... where was I ... before I wandered off into
the bushes!
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RED SEA: Who's got the imagination?
... did you see those pictures of Jupiter's moon last
night? ... scientists are sayin' that Europa's got these
muddy seas ... covered with a layer of ice ... with gigantic
icebergs floatin' in it ... ('n there were cute little
red 'n white penguin lookin' things runnin' up to the
top of the hills 'n slidin' down ... 'n there was this
big ship floatin' it but it hit an iceberg 'n sank right
before their eyes ... 'n there's a clothin' optional beach
along the upper crust) ... c'mon guys ... I'm still tryin'
to figger out how they know that rock that has the little
cooties in it is from Mars ... now they wanna tell me
'bout this moon? ... jes' how gullible do they think I
am anyway? ... (by the way did you know that "gullible"
isn't in the dictionary?)
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TRAVEL NOTE: There's a site
on the Internet that can help ya he'p yourself to travel
arrangements ... it's at http://www.instantair.com/ ...
you enter the from 'n to airports ... (they've got a list
to help you find out the codes) ... dates ... any other
preferences ... they show you the flights available ...
help you pick the cheapest route ... then ya simply fill
out a form ... they'll overnight the tickets to ya ...
purty slick for those "do-it yourself" travelers
... never even have to talk to a hoomin' bein'.
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"Goal setting can be a painful
experience because sometimes you have to choose between
conflicting ones - like wanting to be the president of
a large corporation or having your face tattooed with
a 'Find Waldo' scene." -- Mikey, Thinkin' Too
Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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