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| April 18, 1997 |
Get It: 105 |
Vol. 1, No. 68 |
RATS: 8 million rats ... can ya imagine?
... if ya lined 'em up nose to tail they'd reach from
the Chesapeake Bay to the Mississippi River ... that's
how many were killed in a month long eradication program
in one of Vietnam's northern provinces ... there was a
bounty offered of roughly 2.5 cents per tail ... (which
were exported to the United States ... found to be a reasonable
substitute for squid in preparin' Fried Calamari ... musta
been a descendant of the first guy to eat an oyster who
figgered that out) ... like all good tidbits this one
raises a lot more questions than it answers ... like what'd
they do with all the carcasses? ... or did they cheat
'n jes' chop off the tails so now there's a buncha rats
collectin' disability 'cuz they ain't got no tail? ...
who's gonna volunteer to do a field trip to find these
answers? ... I'm sure we could get some guv'ment fundin'
for such an expedition.
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TURN IN PROGRAM: A new program's been
initiated ... patterned closely after the somewhat successful
voluntary hand gun turn-in programs ... the governors
of Maryland 'n Virginia have announced that Saturday,
April 26th will be Save Our Beltway - Turn In Your Volvo
day ... they'll be offerin' $50 gift certificates to L.L.
Bean for each vehicle surrendered ... the cars collected
will be floated out in the Chesapeake to be used for target
practice by the Navy before bein' sunk to create an artificial
reef ... Jacques Cousteau has applauded the idea commentin'
that "if ze wuhms con liv by ze hot fents en ze bottom
of ze ocean then somethang weel find eet zuiteeble to
leev by ze ugly cahrs" ... encourage your friends
'n neighbors to participate.
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"How real are the raindrops you
feel on your skin when you're driving in the rain with
all the windows closed?" -- Mikey, Thinkin' Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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