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| April 22, 1997 |
Get It: 105 |
Vol. 1, No. 70 |
WAKE UP: Here I am ... scannin'
'round lookin' for somethin' that jes' doesn't depress
the stuffin' outta ya ... when I stumble 'cross the fact
that today is Earth Day! ... have I been missin' some
segment o' the news? ... didn't there used to be a lotta
hoopla 'bout this? ... one o' my calendars attributes
this to our Canadian friends, eh? ... some folks to the
South ... like in Colombia ... Cali to be exact ... celebrated
the day by plantin' 10,720 trees in one minute ... I think
they were cocoa trees ... replacin' the ones burned by
the DEA in our last drug sweep ... celebrate Earth Day
by walkin' outside ... squattin' next to one o' the garden
areas near your office buildin' or house ... dig 'round
in the dirt with your fingers ... find an earthworm ...
tell it what a good job it's doin' ... put it back ...
'bout this time the wagon's gonna be pullin' up ... with
two large goons carryin' a jacket with extra long arms
... RUN FOR IT!
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SPEAKIN' O' JACKETS: The Brits
are makin' the news again ... the psychiatrists are attackin'
the guv'ment ... 'bout not enough beds for psychiatric
patients ... maybe they could sew some Velcro on the back
o' the straight jackets ... stick 'em to the walls ...
takes up a lot less space that way ... but then why is
it jes' the Brits who are goin' crazy? ... I mean besides
havin' all the train stations 'n airports aroun' London
shut down yesterday? ... what if that happened here? ...
Dulles, National, BWI, the metro, the Beltway ... all
shut down for 3 hours ... who'd know anything was different?!?!?!
... but I'll tell ya what's really at the root o' the
matter ... there's a conspiracy afoot on the Isles ...
lurin' children to eat veggies by creatin' chocolate-flavored
carrots ... pizza-flavored corn ... baked-bean flavored
peas ... my mouth's jes' waterin' at the thought ... can
ya imagine your next barbecue ... chompin' into an ear
o' corn ... 'cept it tastes like chocolate?
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BUT SERIOUSLY: Some potentially
sad news for the wine connoisseurs amongst us ... while
it's been a bit nippy here ... our French vintners' 've
had a visit from Jack Frost ... about a fifth of the vines
in the Cotes-du-Ripple region of southern France've been
damaged ... in the worst-affected area, Coteaux de Boone's
Farm, about 80 percent of the grapes were affected ...
along with 90 percent of the strawberries ... this could
create a shortage of Ripple Noveau ... (the first bottles
from this year's stompin' ... flown over in a converted
DC-3) ... might lead to riots as crowds scramble for the
few bottles ... jes' wear your shoes ... so your toes
don't get cut on the metal caps ... if misfortune's your
lot don't despair ... a little frozen Welch's ... 3 cans
o' Jack Daniels ... viola ... you're back in business
... you've got a really interestin' taste treat in store!
... jes' don't drink it 'round any open suitcases.
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"There is an answer for every
question - just because you don't like it doesn't make
it any less of an answer." -- Mikey, Thinkin'
Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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