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| May 1, 1997 |
Get It: 105 |
Vol. 1, No. 77 |
OH ALL RIGHT: I'll succumb
... it's even too much for me to ignore ... I was gonna
be stubborn ... work in the garage 'n listen to my favorite
oldies station ... (that's Oldies 100 at 100.3 FM ...
or you can check out their web site at http://www.oldies100.com/)
... but my curiosity got the better of me ... at 9:00
sharp everythin' came to a screechin' halt ... even though
we knew the endin' ... we had to watch Ellen ... it was
crowded on the couch ... Ralph, Blake 'n Thelma were watchin'
too ... I've gotta admit ... it was a funny show ... Thelma
kept whinin' "I want a cake!" ... Blake was
eggin' 'er on ... "go girl" ... while all Ralph
could muster was "how 'bout a nice cup o' shut the
hell up!" ... I kept shushin' 'em so I didn't miss
any o' the action ... I was tryin' to pay attention to
the commercials so I could turn the sponsor list in to
the Reverend Falwell ... but I figger there's a few others
out there keepin' track ... I wonder how many people ...
caught up in the moment 'n good cheer ... outted ... 'n
now in the sober light of mornin' are sayin' oops! ...
the wild success of the hype surroundin' the show is gonna
encourage other sitcoms to develop similar themes to grab
ratin's ... there's a rumor that a few episodes from now
Frazier's gonna confess a deep love for Eddie ... the
Nanny's gonna be caught with a cement garden gnome ...
this is jes' the tip o' the iceberg!
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FASTOLL: Speakin' o' fun ...
the state's figgered out a new scheme to help raise revenue
... the proposal works somethin' like this ... they're
installin' radar in the lanes ... your speed through the
gate'll be recorded ... if it's over 10 mph they'll put
a little asterisk next to the entry on the bill ... then
they're gonna calculate how fast you were goin' on the
road by takin' the time 'tween gates ... start issuin'
tickets by mail ... what they really oughta do is put
a trap door in the road at the Fastoll Only lane ... any
car that stops to put money in the basket oughta be swallowed
up 'n put straight into one o' them car crushers ... Maryland's
keepin' an eye on the program ... the governor's talkin'
'bout puttin' readers up on the overpasses 'n stuff ...
track our vehicles through the same device ... issue citations
if we pass the points to quickly!
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BANG: That's the sound e-mail
makes when it doesn't go out ... there are few absolutes
in this world ... but one o' them is "never put in
new software 'n 'spect it to work" ... 'specially
if you're gonna be in a position where you can't start
fixin' all the things you've broken ... but techies are
jes' like moths ... we keep goin' back to the same flame
... gettin' the same scorch marks ... you'd think we'd
learn after while ... 'course I gotta admit it was like
turnin' on the lights in a cave full o' bats ... it took
people a while to figger out that they could receive e-mail
from the outside world ... jes' couldn't send any ...
finally had to resort to phone calls ... the withdrawal
symptoms are purty ugly ... I heard rumblin's that a vigilante
group was formin' ... rustlin' up some rope ... scoutin'
out a suitable tree ... me 'n the deputies are gonna hafta
pertect the perpetrator ... 'cept I'm part o' the vigilantes
too ... is that allowed? ... what's even worse ... some
folks're doin' massive research ... couldn't surf either
... that makes it really rough ... 'specially with baseball
season jes' startin' ... tryin' to line up some decent
trades to round out the fantasy leagues ... I mean ...
jes' what's a fella to do?
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"What you did yesterday was
great - yesterday. You're being measured moment by moment
and, like a heart, you're only valuable if you keep on
working." -- Mikey, Thinkin’ Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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