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| May 9, 1997 |
Get It: 107 |
Vol. 1, No. 82 |
IS IT SOFTWARE?: Typical of
the software industry ... grandbaby ain't here yet ...
last Tuesday was the official due date ... but we're into
extra innings as Mom puts a few finishin' touches on the
future ... I'm not quite as nervous as when I was the
one in the hot seat ... havin' to time the contractions
... ask the question "is it time?" ... "c'mon
Hon, get out of the bathroom we've gotta go to the hospital"
... (you have to guess which one of us was Hon!) ... maybe
Monday I'll have a grand announcement!
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TWO GIANTS STUMBLE: Intel's
at it again ... their latest announced piece o' silicon
appears to have a flaw ... they've been secretly workin'
on instillin' more artificial intelligence in the processor
... tryin' to make it become more like a human ... but
they've uncovered a trait that makes it a little too human
... it takes the facts ... comes to the wrong conclusion
... doesn't tell anybody ... I knew they'd master the
technique someday ... then there's Microsoft ... (I've
gotta be careful here ... since I'm usin' one of each
I'm a little nervous to try to type about them ... never
know what they've programmed in to watch out for people
like me) ... Microsoft Office 97 has been taken off the
recommended list by Windows Magazine ... they've sited
some serious flaws that make it unuseable ... th-ngs l-k-
th- V-nn- Wh-t- f--t-r- -n th- n-w W-rd pr-gr-m ... y--
h-v- t- p-y M-cr-s-ft - $2 l-c-ns- f-- f-r --ch v-w-l
... Bill Gates is a clever guy ... buyin' Merriam Webster
'n Oxford so he would have exclusive rights to the alphabet!
... 'scuse me ... the phone's ringin' ... who could it
be this early in the mornin'? ... I'm back ... that was
the strangest thin' ... it was the Senior VP of Marketin'
at Microsoft ... warnin' me to back off! ... or else!
... guess I'll hafta call the Excorcist to take care of
this computer ... I'll unplug the modem line before I
type anythin' else.
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LOOKIN' FOR SOMETHIN' A LITTLE
DIFFERENT?: We've got our Renaissance Festivals ...
where everybody dresses up like po' English beggars ...
or vagabonds ... or royalty ... wander 'round in the dirt
... sing 'n dance ... lots o' fun ... 'specially if ya
'member to bring a pocket full o' Shillings ... so's ya
can stop by the beer gardens 'n keep the Ale goin' down
... that's us Americans pretendin' to be English ... so
whadda ya gonna do if you're in England? ... you could
pop on over to Bartley Gorman's place in Uttoxeter 'long
'bout July ... he's havin' a little festival too ... a
Gypsy festival ... they'll have Gypsy music (I mean like
what other choice is there?) ... campfires ... 'n 'stead
o' those smoked turkey legs to carry 'round he's bringin'
in a mess o' hedgehog's ... now I'm tryin' to picture
one o' these critters but I'm havin' a hard time ... are
these the little fellas that look like a baby Porcupine?
... hold it ... I jes' 'membered I have the world at my
fingertips ... let me go check this out ... hmmmmmmmm
... AltaVista oughta do ... ARRRGGGGHHHHH ... 10,000 matchin'
entries! ... I'll never get through 'em all ... great
... the first site has exactly what I want ... you're
not gonna believe this ... check out http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/hfiguera/HHPictures.html
... it IS exactly what I thought it is ... so this Gorman
guy's gonna take a mess o' these critters ... skewer 'em
... marinate 'em in honey ... toss 'em on the grill ...
now I for one think that's a great idea ... look at the
practical side of it ... besides little cubes o' cheese
what else comes with it's own built in toothpicks? ...
so what, you say? ... the story doesn't end here ... no
sireee ... I wouldn't a wasted all that energy on jes'
a barbecue ... it only becomes noteworthy when the British
Hedgehog Preservation Society steps in to try to stop
it! ... there's the thought that scares the heck outta
me ... what if people got up in arms everytime YOU wanted
to have a little Sunday cookout? ... what if the ASPCA
came knockin' on your door everytime you fired up the
ol' barbie? ... live 'n let cook I say ... bein' near
the top o' the food chain has its bennies ... besides
... how many hedgehogs can a hedgehog eater eat if a hedgehog
eater could eat hedgehogs?
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"Freedom of speech is guaranteed
by the First Amendment so that we won't be censored by
our fellow travellers. But what protects us from ourselves?"
-- Mikey, Thinkin’ Too Hard
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| Mikey's Muse(tm)
is published weekdays as a commentary on stuff. Editor,
Michael T. Rusk. Copyright © 1997 by Michael T. Rusk.
Printed in the U.S.A. This publication may be distributed
freely as long as there is no charge. Commentary is loosely
based on actual events and may contain embellishments,
bits of fiction, and editorial liberties (lies) under
the guise of poetic license. All characters portrayed
in my writing are purely fictional and any resemblance
to any person, company or animal is purely unintentional.
If you don't get it, you just don't get it. Don't blame
me for anything I say and don't do anything I say, either.
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