December 6, 1995 Volume 1, No. 6

THANKSGIVING: Truly a time for family...friends...counting your blessings...I learned something really profound this year...don't go to a fish place for a turkey dinner...after 27 years of slaving over a hot stove...cooking for days...gorging on a fabulous spread fit for royalty ...cleaning up for hours afterwards...we decided to take the family out for dinner...the choice was fairly simple...my son was going with his soon to be mother-in-law to one of their favorite restaurants...we were invited...and accepted...the place was one of those rustic...been there forever...type places...well known to all the sailors on the Chesapeake Bay...wonderful crabs and seafood...atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a knife... they offered a great deal on a turkey dinner...with a crab cake if you so desired...being the pig that I am...I ordered it all...well it came out in one big pile...turkey on top of stuffing...next to mashed potatos (where's Dan Quayle when you need him)...all covered with gravy...and a big helping of creamed corn...a small spoonful of jellied cranberry sauce was the only non-grey color for the whole meal!...it looked like the meals that they serve in the shelters!...I wanted candied yams...green beans with onions on top...black and green olives ...green salad...fruit salad...you know the menu...all that neat colorful stuff that just dazzles the senses!...we ate...couldn't hardly stay awake for the drive home...the only thing I didn't miss...the clean up!...but Friday...oh my God...no turkey leftovers!...I wanted a turkey sandwich in the worst way...it was terrible...I'll bet we go back to the traditional way next year!

2000: You've heard the rumors...anyone who's associated with computers knows the dread that pervades the geek community regarding the year 2000...probably as much superstition and fear as our forefathers had when there were eclipses of the Sun...I had diligently put it on my schedule to take care of it early next year for my company...being really proactive I thought...NOT...I was caught by surprise when some of our documents started printing out with ?'s instead of dates...we only print the last 2 digits of the year...our system is clever enough to store all 4 digits (and more)...assuming that any 2 digit year entered is for the current century...so far no one can enter more than two digits in our system... so I felt pretty secure that no one would generate a problem for me...except for a little internal calculation...it figures when the first principle and interest payment would be due...based on a 48 month interest-only period...guess what...if your first payment is due January of 1996...your first PI payment is due January of 2000...oops!...so now in the famous tradition of geeks everywhere...we have an emergency...everybody run around like chickens with their heads cut off...the end of the world is here!...so needless to say I've got my hands full...I get a chuckle out of all the invitations I get in the mail for all the seminars companies are running regarding this very subject...I gotta tell ya... back in the early 70's when I was programming systems...we always used to laugh about the year 2000...there were two basic thoughts on the subject...the first was that nothing we wrote would still be working in the year 2000...the second was that there was no way in hell we'd still be programming when the year 2000 hit...(I also said I'd hate to program for a living too!)...wrong on all 3 counts...so now I have to live with the legacy I helped create...this isn't that funny y'all.

YES VIRGINIA: There is a Santa Claus...and he's just around the corner...how time flies when you're the one who has to put it all together...I feel sorry for my wife...I'm glad I have my ticket to the couch...my contribution is to mumble whenever she asks what she should get for the kids...like I have a clue...I griped every step of the way from the shed to the house... with my dusty, artificial tree over my shoulder...I spent hours going through all those dinky miniature light strings to make sure they all worked...then played Maypole with the lights as I strung them around the tree...then I get to sit back...watch the kids put the decorations on the tree...it hardly seems like it's been a whole year since we did this last!...I did watch "The Santa Clause"...you bet I'm steerin' clear of puttin' on any Santa suit...even if my family thinks I'm starting to look a little like good ol' St. Nick.

"If you're meticulous and diligent in your work, putting in 110%, faithful, dependable, and all those other Scout type things, then the guy who runs his mouth all the time will get ahead of you." --Mikey, Thinking Too Hard