December 28, 1995 Volume 1, No. 8

IT'S OVER: Christmas that is...tax forms'll be here any minute...I have two new hobbies now... digging for coins I find with my new metal detector...brewing beer...I can hardly wait 'til the ground thaws out...I can go find all the gold nuggets I know are hiding in the stream by my house...or all the kids' lunch money up at the playground by the school ...with my luck I'll dig up the high voltage underground electric line...melt my shovel... among other things...then I'll need that home brewskie...I can't mix up the first batch yet...I promised I'd clean out a spot in the basement before I started fermenting...rats ...no not in the basement...just a general rats!...that means I can't have a hyper batch ready by New Years...I guess it'd be kinda risky to try to compress 5 weeks of brewing into 5 days...but I could try...then buy a nice import...re-bottle it...call it my own...bask in the praise for my superior brewmeister skills!...dream on...I guess I'll just have to get busy...do it the right way...I'll let you know when I'm ready to start shippin'...I'll prob'ly call it "Dead Dog"...put a run-over Min-Pin on the label...or how 'bout "Dog Bite"...a picture of my "sweet" Chihuahua on the label!

SPEAKIN' O' RUNOVER: Went through the first toll booth just fine last night...window went down as slick as can be...then got to the end of the road...pulled into the EXACT CHANGE lane to make a fast exit...window wouldn't budge...just made that ominous clicking sound of a broken track...at least it was in the up position...I made a snap decision...opened the door...popped the money in...went on my merry way...forgot about it...'til I was at the toll booth again this mornin'...poor collector musta thought I was gonna rob him...but we managed to complete our business...then I noticed that the window was starting to work it's way down...uh-oh...it was cold...windy...messed up my one hair...by the time I got to the last toll booth it was down about 5 inches...not enough to do any good...just a real nuisance...I was able to push it back up when I got to the office...by pressing real hard on both sides...I'm nervous now 'cause they're callin' for some snow...could get real messy...s'pose I'm gonna have to get it fixed...time to trade in this piece of junk!...it needs a wash job too!

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR: A tired joke...but it is that time isn't it?...we usually have a real exciting night at home... watching Dick Clark slide down the pole...oh...I forgot that's only my fantasy...it's just a simple ball...all that hype...all the celebration...I like the Chinese New Year better...we stumbled into the celebration at our local Chinese Restaurant (that's right - our Christmas Eve place)...it was like 9'ish...it was the four of us...we were looking at the menu...our waiter suggested a New Year's dinner for four...it was....mmmmmm... interesting...ya' that's the word...interesting...especially the big fish sitting up right on the platter...staring at us as we munched its body down!...I jest...it was really quite tasty...I just can't remember when it was!...I'd like to do it again...a lot better than watchin' other people have fun.

BYE DEAN: Sorry to see him go...another icon bites the dust...I used to watch his and Jerry's movies all the time when I was a kid...I even liked his television show...I guess every generation laments the passing of their celebrities...I don't know who the current generation will lament though...it's hard to think of Jean-Claude von Damme in the same vein...'course there was John Belushi!

"Anything worth doing needs to be put off long enough so that somebody else does it first. Then you can sit around saying how you had the idea first and they stole it from you." --Mikey, Thinking Too Hard